♥ never gonna give you up

january 3rd 2012 ;

i love you so much , you mean so much too me never have i been so satisfied with spending a new years with a guy since this past one . its almost our 1 year & i’m so happy too be with you right now , are relationship goes up & down sometimes i just want too give up but i keep on holding on .

i love waking up too you

i love your rough hair

i love the silly noises you make

& how you are always there too protect me

i love whenever i’m mad at you , you try your hardest too make me laugh

the way you look at me sends volts of electricity through my veins

i love the way you kiss me

i love you with every vessel every being of my heart

I’m so happy too have you in my life right now .

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

december 14th 2011 ;

i feel so un appreciated i feel like you stopped caring & got bored of me .. i feel like you don’t care anymore .. & you making me feel this way makes me fuck up . its all your fault .. like i know i should break up with you but there’s apart of me that doesn’t i have no clue why i put up with this 11 whole months of stress ..

But I gave you all and you rip it from my hands and you swear it’s all gone and you rip out all I have just to say that you’ve won well now you’ve won  

novemeber 22nd 2011

i love you babe .

november 16th 2011 ;

i havent really been writing here that much i have a journal now it helps alot , im babysitting at katrinas and forgot my journal .. im very sad right now .. its the mixture of not feeling wanted & not feeling good enough to be loved ): . Brandon told me he loved me on friday it was really cute but i have no clue if hes ready for this commitment like heck we aren’t even fucking dating normal relationships go like this :

1. guy likes girl , girl likes guy

2. guy asks girl out

3. DATE

4. DATE

5. at least 10 months or when they are ready they say they love eachother ..

BUT nope not our ” relationship ” is us not dating but being together for 10 months , best sex ever btw , than after 10 months he decides to make shit real i dont even know if he means it .. but if he was playing me why would he stick though it for 10 months ? ): bah

” should I give up , or should I just keep chasing pavements ? even if it leads nowhere or would it be a waste even if I knew my place should I leave it there
should I give up , or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere “

sianaskellington: basically…

sianaskellington:

basically…


november 10th 2011 ;

randys coming back to calgary tonight .. its weird how i didn’t even know & my dad was the one that told me .. AHA . i’m pretty stoked but not at the same time .. i feel like none of my old friends want anything to do with me .. randy & me were best friends now we hardly talk .. zak & me were really close too i think closer than me & randy and he just feels like he wants nothing to do with me , he called me the other day too chill & haven’t talked to me since , dylan ditched me what a fag ( ahaha ) . i just feel like i wasn’t even important to begin with .. thats a horrible feeling . 

❝I go back and forth with wanted to punch you in the face to just feeling sorry for you. ‘Cause let’s be real here, you and I both know how fucking amazing Caroline is. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have told her you liked her in the first place. She’s gorgeous and smart and literally the funniest person I know &the fact that you even got her in the first place is something you should be thanking HER for. You’re not doing her any favors, believe me. So I’m not really sure why you think it’s okay to just lead her on and feed her lies. If you think she’s gonna wait around for you, you’re wrong. I can promise you she can find better. So either get your shit together or get lost. All you’re giving out is bullshit and I don’t like it at all. You don’t deserve someone half as good as her and you’ll never find anyone as good as her again. So while you’re sitting here taking your time and thinking you’re some big deal, she’s gonna be forgetting about you. You’re obviously cocky as shit which is amusing to me ‘cause you have no reason to be. So do yourself a favor a remove your head from your asshole before you completely let everything go.❞

Life; it will bring out the worst in you, make you the happiest you’ve ever been, show you love, & take it away. But it will never, ever fail to surprise you.